Articles
Writing about the things people search for at 2am
Every piece here names its author, carries a review date, and cites its sources. Where the evidence is thin, it says so. Published one at a time rather than in batches.
Compulsive sexual behavior
Is it compulsive, or just frequent?
There is no threshold number, and no online quiz produces a diagnosis. What separates a habit from a clinical problem is control, consequence, function and escalation — none of which is frequency.
September 9, 2026 · 9 min read
Compulsive sexual behavior
Pornography use: problem, or habit somebody disapproves of?
One of the most reliable findings in this literature is uncomfortable for both sides of the argument: how much distress someone reports about their pornography use is predicted less by how much they use than by how much they disapprove of using it.
September 9, 2026 · 10 min read
Compulsive sexual behavior
You found out. What happens in the first few weeks.
Almost everything written about compulsive sexual behavior is addressed to the person doing it. This is for the person who found the messages — whose situation is not secondary to anybody else’s treatment.
September 9, 2026 · 9 min read
Compulsive sexual behavior
Planning a disclosure, rather than having one happen to you
Disclosure that happens in the middle of an argument is not disclosure — it is a negotiation under pressure, and it almost always has to be repeated.
September 9, 2026 · 8 min read
Compulsive sexual behavior
Relapse, and the twenty-four hours after it
The episode is rarely the most important thing that happens. What follows it — the interpretation, and the twenty-four hours of shame after — is what determines whether it stays a lapse.
September 9, 2026 · 8 min read
Relationships and control
The signs of narcissistic abuse people miss in their own relationship
Almost nobody recognises it from the dramatic examples. They recognise it from the small stuff: checking messages to confirm their own memory, apologising first by reflex, and a social circle that thinned without a single argument.
September 9, 2026 · 9 min read
Relationships and control
Why leaving is so hard, even when you know
The question is never really “why don’t you leave”. It is why knowing does not produce leaving — and the answer is more mechanical, and less shameful, than most people assume.
September 9, 2026 · 8 min read
Relationships and control
Coercive control, or just a difficult relationship?
Both relationships contain shouting. The question is not how loud it gets — it is whether, over time, one person’s freedom of movement keeps shrinking.
September 9, 2026 · 8 min read
Relationships and control
Going no contact, and the version that is actually available to you
No contact gets talked about as the correct answer. It is a tool with a purpose — and for a lot of people, the honest version is low contact, done properly.
September 9, 2026 · 9 min read
Relationships and control
Someone you love is in a controlling relationship. What actually helps.
The instinct is to make the case: lay out the evidence, name it, force a decision. That is the approach most likely to end with them defending the relationship to you.
September 9, 2026 · 7 min read
Treatment literacy
Accelerated Resolution Therapy vs EMDR: how are they actually different?
Both use eye movements. Both treat trauma. They are still meaningfully different therapies, and the honest comparison includes where ART's evidence base is thinner.
September 1, 2026 · 8 min read
Trauma and PTSD
Signs of unresolved trauma in adults
It rarely announces itself as trauma. It usually turns up as insomnia, a short fuse, exhaustion, or a life that has quietly narrowed.
September 1, 2026 · 7 min read
Suicide prevention
What to say when someone tells you they are thinking about suicide
The fear of saying the wrong thing keeps people silent, and silence is worse than an imperfect sentence. Here is what actually helps.
September 1, 2026 · 8 min read
Anxiety and depression
When worry starts interfering with daily life
Worry is useful. The question is not whether you worry, but whether worry has started making your decisions for you.
September 1, 2026 · 6 min read
What is coming next
Roughly two reviewed pieces a month. In the queue: what actually happens in an ART session, complex PTSD and ongoing stress, PTSD support for San Antonio veterans, grounding techniques that hold up under scrutiny, and how to support someone without becoming their therapist. If there is something you wanted to read and could not find, tell us.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Healing is possible. Tell us a little about what is going on and Jim will get back to you.